By LYLE R. FRIED, CAP, ICADC, CHC In Family Based Recovery, First Steps, In the News
Posted August 16, 2017
Do not try to function as the Cool Parent — Being the cool parent by talking about your background with drugs & alcohol certainly appears to be a fantastic way to connect and relate to your child. However, relating your experiences may have a negative effects. Should you make it known about your past drug or alcohol use, then that may give the adolescent a thought process that “mom/dad did it once, so I can try”. Lyle Fried says it’s essential to be understanding of the plight of your teen, but do not use your past as a means to connect on the problem together.
In your home isn’t OK — For most parents who might have experimented with alcohol or drugs when they were adolescents, the clear belief that “children will attempt it, so it may also be where I understand they’re secure” is a familiar one. This can be an ineffective method to handle the challenges of drug use since it shows your child it’s an acceptable behavior.
Your Parenting isn’t perfect — Such as your children, you may make errors, even through the process of discussing drug & alcohol use. After any talk about alcohol and drugs, make time to think of exactly how that conversation went. Come back to problems you might have missed and pay attention to any mistakes you made so that you do not repeat them. Give yourself a rest. Conversations with adolescents about alcohol and drugs aren’t always easy at first but regular conversations help ease the process.
No Punishment for First Mistake —It could be tough, but understand that after you have had the conversation, your little one might drink alcohol at a party or attempt pot. This time isn’t the time for punishment. Understanding is the trick to giving comfort to discussing decisions they have made to maintain an open mind and an open line of communication to a teenager.
Back to college marks a period where parents confront their children about alcohol and drugs use and abuse. What to say and how to say it, during this first ‘drugs speak’ is a fact for parents. Though it is your children going back to college, this can be a time that you research drugs and alcohol. If you’re not aware, get to understand the signs of alcohol or drug use. This means education is essential. Every couple of years you will find illegal drugs or abused prescription medication which boosts in popularity. Make it a point to investigate and remain informed.
The Manager of the National Institute on Drug Abuse recently stated “at the time they’re seniors, nearly 70 percent of high school pupils will probably have tried alcohol, half of them may have obtained an illegal drug…and over 20 percent will probably have used a prescription medication for a non medicinal purpose.”
