I am Mark Tagrin and here’s my story about my road to recovery. I was brought to The Shores in early 2016 a truly broken man. I had recently lost both of my parents, my wife left me, I accidently killed my dear, dear dog Lucy Lu, was on a 25 year run of abusing opiates and pot, but the most devastating thing that happened is that I ran out of ideas on what to do next! My whole life I was ALWAYS able to come up with some sort of plan to get myself out of whatever jam I had gotten myself into. ALWAYS! It was my thing! But, there I was in a hotel room in Daytona Beach, about to do the biggest line of heroin ever. Just hoping to die already! That was the best idea, no… the only idea I could come up with!
The Knock That Saved My Life
There was a knock on my door, and I was pissed! Who could that be, interrupting my master plan? I answered the door and there stood my then 23 year old daughter who was 7 months pregnant with my first grandchild, and my sister who has over 30 years of continuous sobriety. “Hey…” I said, “what are you guys doing here?” My only daughter looked up at me and said… “we’re here to take you to detox and treatment Daddy!” I would have never thought of that! I had been to about 6 treatment centers in my life, I was sure that there was no hope for me! What could they possibly tell me about addiction that I didn’t already know? What could they possibly say or do that could fix my racing mind? Nothing! And I knew it! I am truly hopeless! But there was hope in my daughter’s and sister’s eyes, and in their voices, so I said ok.
Giving Up the Fight with Heroin
Looking back, a very strange thing happened. As soon as I said ok, as soon as I gave up my master plan… my mind, that had been racing since I was 12 years old… stopped racing! My eyes are tearing up right now as I write this. I gave up control of my life. I turned it over to the Shores. I did whatever they told me to do. Talk about the death of my dog, talk about my marriage, talk about my urges to use, don’t lie, don’t steal, don’t get involved with women, go to AA meetings every day, and get a sponsor. Then I turned my life over to AA. In AA they suggested that I get a home group so I did, my home group meets every day, so I went every day. I told my sponsor that I had a life-long problem with the concept of God. Then my sponsor said… “just stop fighting the idea of God.” I could do that, just stop fighting. It worked!
I’m Mark Tagrin and I’m in Active Recovery
But the hardest thing I had to do was to sit down at the meeting before and after the meeting and introduce myself. After that everything took care of itself. I made a friend that I WANTED to call everyday a talk to. THAT was completely new to me, but it felt great! I joined a twelve step study men’s group. For 20 weeks we met every Thursday. I learned that I was a selfish, self-centered person whose thinking was broken. I learned that if I turn my will and my life over to the care of my loving, caring, forgiving God every day, and just stay out of the way, all will be well! I have NEVER been this peaceful and happy in my life! I will do ANYTHING to keep feeling the way I feel today! And all they tell me to do is: Don’t pick up! No matter what, just don’t pick up! Trust God, help others, and ALWAYS do the next right thing! It works! It really, really does!